Not Being Able To Drive Directly Effects Your Well Being

How not being able to drive worked for our family. Make sure you read Monday's blog entry to understand this entry.

When I was first diagnosed with seizures, it was a bit of a shock emotionally because I was afraid I would lose my job, but looking back it also isn't as bad as it is now.

At this time we lived in the Fargo-Moorhead area. If you aren't familar, this is on the border of Minnesota and North Dakota. We lived in Minnesota but I also held jobs in both states. Technically; you go by the state you live in according to the law but your doctors report this to the DMV(by law it isn't required most do due to being afraid of lawsuit if something were to happen, which goes to your employer as well.)

In Minnesota you can get your license back after 3 months with doctors approval. In North Dakota You have to be seizure free 6 months, but can get a restricted license after 3 months seizure free pending doctors approval.

Having both my husband and I working full time with two young boys was not easy at times. At this time my husband was a full time college track coach traveling a lot come season, while also working his other full time job. I had various jobs but they changed due to my seizures and the driving complicating things.

We were fortunate to have family there helping, thoughtful colleagues and when it was extended period of times my mom would fly out to stay with us when Brent was out of town. I would go it seemed just to that shy mark of 6 months and have a breakthrough seizure and once again lose my license.

I eventually became controlled for a period of time.

Nothing like taking a tour of the Daytona 500 to remind you of not being able to drive, truly sucks! Don't get me wrong though, the tour was neat:)

Fast forward us moving to Kentucky in 2011 for Brent's new job and mine.

I was able to find a job that after you trained for 3 months it would be working from your home, and just a few onsite wellness jobs for training others in my location. We moved to Lexington, as Brent was working in Richmond and my training was in Louisville. Plus my area was in Lexington. So I would have public transportation if needed for my new job.

Well our luck would have it the good old seizure monster came out as I was driving to my Louisville training just 2 weeks shy of completing it. Fortunately; I felt something wasn't right and pulled off to the side of the road and called for help. Needless to say I didn't get my training done and lost that opportunity.

The Kentucky law for driving is 3 months, but also have proof of being on a seizure medication provided by a dr certified for epilepsy.

Due to this we decided to move to Richmond once the boys finished their school year and was lucky enough to find a job at EKU where my husband worked as well.

At this time I was actually kind of excited because it was my alma mater and knew people that lived there and loved the fact I could give back by working there. Lifted my spirits.

Come 2012 lost license completely.

At this time I was seeing a Mayo doctor consistently as my seizures were evolving. I was still working full time and held various jobs at EKU. Fortunate more than others had my husband working at same employer, again having thoughtful colleagues also help and my mom staying when needed as well. (I could never thank my mom and dad enough for all they do)

To many this doesn't sound all that bad but to someone who is used to being able to just get up a drive, for work events, your kids events or even just go to the store.

Think how you would feel if your kids ask you to run somewhere and then say oh yeah mom you can't take us there, guess I will have to miss that with my friends. Mom GUILT for sure!!

These were all things I had lost, our family had lost and had to adjust to. At times our boys had things at the same time and we had to take turns watching them at events, my husband had to take on extra duties and guilt set in for me in all mental areas. Of course I didn't share these it just built up inside and from the outside I was smiling and it was fine.

An opportunity to be seizure free RNS implant in 2017, my boss held my position to recover so HOPE was there once again......BAMN 2019 February I was getting worse and ad to medically retire. Come December 2019 got new battery and my husband had an opportunity to work in Florida close for Mayo. (read previous blogs about how this worked)

Now 2023 and we live in Pace Florida, I am not able to drive

The boys are now in college and we are empty nesters. At first I didn't think it would be too hard. After all I could still talk to people on the phone or text. The boys or Brent too when needed. I soon realized the reality of others have to work and can't just talk, my boys and husband are busy as well.

The one thing I do have is my phone calls with my mom(thank you mom for doing this), and some back in Kentucky when not working, and a few here but they weren't able to come just pick me up to go do something.

I can't just go run errands for Brent and I, or take a walk even by myself around the neighborhood. To top it off there isn't public transportation here and it truly isn't safe for me. So it all sets in, the isolation and guilt I feel daily

I did what I could to feel like I was helping by cleaning the house, making calls, ordering online where needed for Brent and I. Of course he doesn't expect any of this but in my mind it is needed to feel better. I also exercise daily and mediate when my body is able to, as it does make me feel better.

But like right now when sick, I am unable to do any of the above.

I began this blog to become connected with others and meet people to help them dealing with the same feelings as myself living with epilepsy. The blog is a helpful outlet and feel useful to others. This blog is even late because of me being sick.

This is where social media becomes helpful. I can talk with people dealing with these same things as me. I have met some GREAT people via SM and my blog. I get that reward of helping others live with epilepsy, but it has become an outlet at times where it isn't helping but hiding what I am truly feeling.

Stay tune for more on this topic......

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